Tuesday, December 21, 2004

Adieu, Adieu for Now

Once there was a girl who was lonely and sad. Her only real friends were the bands who played on her favorite records. All through high school and college, though she was always told she was beautiful, she never believed it because she was always alone.

Except when the music played, she wasn't alone or afraid anymore. The music made her strong, and brought her out of herself and made her believe in something. And so, despite her loneliness, despite many disappointments and heartbreaks, she was always able to keep on going because the music saved her.

Because the music was the only thing keeping her alive, she was drawn to its healing power, and so she followed wherever it led, making a few friends along the way but always going home alone. Until one day, one of these friends took her aside and told her she was special...and she married him.

They were happy for a while, but things change, and she found herself lonely again. And she didn't know how she would go on, struggled to get through each day, feeling worthless and sad. Until she found music again--found an amazing person who wrote music that spoke to this loneliness and despair, music that reached into the darkest corners of her mind, to the places where she had hidden her self-loathing and torment and pullled it out and laid it bare. And because of this, though she was often lonely and sad as she had been before, she never truly felt alone because she had found someone who understood.

She wanted to tell this person how she felt in person, and so she met him, and he was kinder to her than she could have imagined. He made her feel special once again. But one day, she found she had unwittingly caused him harm, and it tore her apart because she had hurt someone who had made her feel like her life meant something, and it was more than she could bear.

And so she begged forgiveness, hoping with all her heart that it was not too late. And then she stepped aside...Adieu, adieu for now.

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